when i was scared, or possibly wrong, i would make a point of saying so, so you never had to wonder if you were smart enough or well-read enough or articulate or hard-core enough to be here.

if you ever criticised me, i would try to understand and perhaps change a little in response - because you needed me to.

if something needed doing, and i knew how to do it really well, but you wanted to learn - i'd let you.

if things went weird between us, i wouldn't just decide not to work with you anymore, i would try to sort it out.

i would not make statements beginning "everyone thinks" or "obviously", in case you then didn't bother to challenge my ideas.

when you talked, i'd listen to your words, rather than listen for a gap.

i'd look for the crisis or the new experience that could make us into friends, rather than share them all with friends i already had.

i'd look for the thing i could learn from you rather than dismiss you for not learning from me.

when i was certain you were wrong, i'd still try for a moment what it would mean to me, my ideas, or the situation if you were right.

i'd respect you and your choices and i'd tell you so.

i'd value you as a vital part of the world i was fighting for.